When you’re going through cancer, the focus is survival
— test results, treatment plans, side effects, recovery timelines.
But somewhere beneath all of that, you might still wonder things like:
- Will I ever feel sexy again?
- Will sex ever feel good?
- Will my partner still want me?
- Do I still want them?
- Do I even know what I want anymore?
These questions are completely normal. In fact, they’re signs of your aliveness — of the part of you that’s still reaching toward connection, pleasure, and possibility.
What most people aren’t told is that sexuality doesn’t disappear during or after cancer — it just changes. And it deserves care, attention, and compassion, just like every other part of your healing.
What’s Normal (That No One Talks About)
It’s completely normal and quite common for people to experience changes in:
✅ Desire
You might not feel turned on the way you used to, or your libido might come and go unpredictably.
✅ Arousal
Dryness, numbness, or difficulty becoming physically responsive are common, especially after hormone changes or nerve disruption.
✅ Orgasm
Intensity, timing, or even the sensation itself can shift.
✅ Body Image
Scars, hair loss, weight changes, or medical devices can affect how you see yourself and how safe or desirable you feel.
✅ Energy & Emotion
Fatigue, pain, grief, and fear all shape your sense of readiness for intimacy.
None of this means you’re broken. It means your body has been through a lot — and it’s adapting.
What You Actually Want to Know
(But Rarely Get Told)
“Is it safe to have sex?”
Yes — though comfort and safety depend on your treatment type. You can start with non-penetrative touch, self-exploration, and sensual connection long before returning to intercourse (if you ever choose to).
Keep in mind that “sex” can mean an infinite number of things besides genital penetration!
“What if sex hurts or feels different?”
Pain, dryness, or loss of sensation are common. There are lubricants, moisturizers, dilators, and touch-based exercises that can help. You don’t have to push through pain. Talk with your doctor, a sex therapist, or a certified cancer and intimacy practitioner.
“What if I don’t want sex at all?”
That’s okay. Desire isn’t just about intercourse — it’s also about curiosity, connection, laughter, creativity, and self-expression. All of that is part of your erotic life. We have resources in our SHOP that can support you in expanding intimacy beyond intercourse.
“Will I ever feel sexy again?”
Absolutely — but it may look and feel different. Healing isn’t about returning to who you were. It’s about discovering new ways to feel alive, worthy, and connected now. Your body has changed, but your capacity for joy, intimacy, and desire hasn’t disappeared — it’s simply waiting to be met in new ways.
“How do I talk to my partner about this?”
Open communication is key — but it can be hard. You might both be grieving or afraid. Simple prompts and guided practices can help you reconnect with honesty and gentleness. When you speak from care rather than fear, communication becomes its own form of intimacy — a way to touch without needing to fix.
“What if I’m single or starting to date again after cancer?”
It’s completely normal to feel nervous about intimacy after what your body has been through. You may wonder when to share your story or how to feel comfortable in your body, or how trust someone new. Go at your own pace — honesty and self-kindness are your best guides.
What You Deserve to Hear from Your Care Team
(But Probably Haven’t)
Even the most caring doctors and nurses often don’t have time or training to talk about sexuality. They might mention fertility or dryness — and then move on.
That can leave you wondering if you’re the only one who is feeling this way, or if it’s inappropriate to even ask.
But here’s the truth:
Sexuality is part of your quality of life. It’s part of your wholeness. You deserve information, validation, and options — not silence!
How This website Can Help
Articles & Resources
Explore expert guidance on intimacy, body changes, relationships, communication, and sexual health tailored to the unique experiences of those impacted by cancer.
Coaching
Whether you’re currently facing treatment or adjusting to life after cancer, these coaching offerings are designed to help you expand your definition of intimacy, (re)discover your access to pleasure, and deepen your bond with present or future partners, on your terms and at your own pace.
Education
Explore our full library of online courses, e-books and programs designed to help you navigate intimacy and well-being during and after cancer.
Libido Journals for Patients, Survivors, and Partners
Innovative workbooks to help you rediscover desire after cancer. Explore what turns you on now, what brings comfort, and how to nurture curiosity again — with compassion, not pressure.
Curated Products for Intimacy & Wellness
Discover handpicked products designed to support comfort, pleasure, and well-being.
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Your body, your relationships, and your holistic well-being
deserve care and support.
Let’s navigate this together.